As in the previous years, I didn't get to see my girl. However this time around , strangely enough, I don't feel so much pain anymore for myself and my girl. I am not quite sure whether its because I have given up fighting, or whether distance really fades the feelings I should have as a father.
In a surreal manner, my wife has done so much harm and hurt I cannot in honesty regard her as human. Perhaps the chinese beliefs about past lives are true. By her actions in all these years I came to believe human beings have souls. Some souls purer than others , I guess . In everyone's life we meet some holy people and some rascals along the way. Very rarely we will meet someone who cannot relate to goodness and the things ordinary people take for granted as necessary for happiness..If demons exist in human form, then I had the misfortune to meet one.
I cannot find a place to stand where I have to hate. and anger fades away in the end also. There is a poem , by whom I forget. The words are also half forgotten.
I thought the fire had died
I stirred the ashes
And I burnt my fingers.
Goodbye ashes.
In a surreal manner, my wife has done so much harm and hurt I cannot in honesty regard her as human. Perhaps the chinese beliefs about past lives are true. By her actions in all these years I came to believe human beings have souls. Some souls purer than others , I guess . In everyone's life we meet some holy people and some rascals along the way. Very rarely we will meet someone who cannot relate to goodness and the things ordinary people take for granted as necessary for happiness..If demons exist in human form, then I had the misfortune to meet one.
I cannot find a place to stand where I have to hate. and anger fades away in the end also. There is a poem , by whom I forget. The words are also half forgotten.
I thought the fire had died
I stirred the ashes
And I burnt my fingers.
Goodbye ashes.
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