things to do

Papa is putting down his thoughts on things that Papa needs to run around and do in the near future. This is in no particular order so it will only serve as a record for you to read when you are older.

1. Papa needs to run around in Pahang , to speed up sorely neeeded progress with government departments. Papa has put in applications for new lands to be worked on and currently there is no feedback from the various departments .

2. Papa will have to run around also in Pahang to scout on new lands- this involves a bit of tramping around various spots in the state- on the cards are Rompin district in the next week or two. There are a host of other areas that Papa needs to do research on and this means more tramping around.

3. Papa also has to run to the other states in the East Coast- Terengganu and Kelantan being a little further, Papa has postponed them to the point that Papa cannot make any further postponements. So Papa will have to live off a suitcase in the East Coast in the near future.

4. Papa also has to be on the West Coast, to meet the various peoples in the universities and other institutions of research.. Lots of thing that Papa needs to do

tales of tailings

One quick snap of the little tailings pond on Papa's mine site. Its ugly because its the middle of the afternoon, and well... tailing ponds are ugly by their nature.

Chini Lake: pier in transition

Papa popped over to the Chini lake yesterday out of curiousity. The resort seems to be in a state of suspended animation for renovation works. So there seem to be no rooms available , and the canteen (can't call it anything else) is not there anymore. The sole Indonesian worker we say didn't have a clue as to what was happening on site. Papa notice pilings for a jetty/pier. The wooden jetty is to be replaced by... guess what?


The upgrade was depressingly "concrete"- with each "improvement" inflicted on the lake, an intangible "something else" is taken from it. Even my not so environmentally sensitive buddy said,"This is not environmentally sensitive. Its going to look out of place."

Papa took a shot of the wooden pier before that too is gone. It was a hot lazy afternoon, no activity in sight.

another week

Well its another Saturday and Mama is still playing her games so Papa cannot see you this weekend again. Papa is tired becuase Mama will throw away all of your childhood with Papa for the sake of her pride. Papa is doubly punished for the wrongs that Mama does. Papa hopes you will not feel the pain that Papa feels. IN Papa's eyes you are just so innocent and beautiful, so it breaks Papa's heart just to watch you grow up where everything is distorted. All Papa hears from you is "Mama doesn't know how".

Papa came back early from outstation on the off-chance we will see each other, but its quite unlikely. Papa will be outstation again in a day or two, and its pretty hard for Papa, because Papa misses you a lot.

papa trips

Papa is going again to Kuantan on Monday. That would be straight after a board meeting (AGM) in Shah Alam, and Papa will have to be in Kuantan by 3pm so probably there will be no time for lunch, poor Papa.

Papa just realised that Papa's application to the Pahang state government for permission to mine in the gazetted areas may be the first submission that the government has taken in, in the last five years . So Papa will need to work doubly hard to make sure it is not rejected. If the application is accepted and other works can commence (much later) then maybe Papa can make some money, so Papa can set something up for you. We will cross that bridge, (if the draw-bridge comes down) when the time comes.

Papa's got to make a trip up to Terengganu (or Kelantan, Papa forgets where) in the near future on work so it would be nice to lug the RB around (with a tripod this time). Papa's got to scrounge around for film though...Fuji Malaysia is out of stock for 120 venvia it seems.

air camera

The makers of Air Guitar tm have a new product. Or maybe there are more people on prozac in KL than we know.

Mama on strike again

Mama is keeping you away again for the weekend. Everytime Mama does something wrong, Mama hits Papa a second time by not letting you see me. Papa doesn't know what to do , dealing with Mama, its like an episode of Twilight Zone mixed with Hotel California.

So Papa will post something instead.


This is on the busy Main Street of Kuala Lipis. You can check-in into what seems to be the premier Hotel in town, the centrally located Hotel Central. Mayhaps life in K Lipis would be such that you could never leave....

no summer for weekend-again

HA!! Mama done it again. Just one sms ack to say-" We are not in town this weekend." Pretty shitty actually and makes a mockery again of her saying "I bend over backwards to let you see her". Papa won't comment further. Poor summer, Mama has her own agenda.

Anyways, Papa has been looking around for more lenses for the RB67 and he has been lurking around out on ebay, scouting for a bargain or two. Or three....Also Papa is trying hard to find whether anyone sells the neck strap for the Arbie. The problem for Papa is that the brick is big . And so it is hard to carry and lug it around with just bare hands. Papa is looking for the lugs that attach to the strap....Papa doesn't mind the weight so much as its size.

Papa is going to get around shooting landscapes on the East Coast, as Papa is there so often. In fact, Papa will be there tomorrow, to Terengganu and then to Kuantan. Kuantan is not a pretty town so Papa probably has to sneak out to the beach side near Beserah or further.

There won't be any tripod. Papa left the tripod in the oldie Volvo and that car is sitting in the workshop, together with the tripod and monopod....

purple shoes and tights

Mergirl now wants purple instead of pink. She bypasses Papa's objections to buying ever more pink cloths .

and the verdict is...

Mergirl: We will have the ice cream as tasted...

Mergirl kept reminding Papa about the coffee ice cream incident. This time,she made very sure it was chocolate and mango...No stray flavours allowed to intrude.

shoes and icecream

Ice cream tasting right after buying shoes. Clarks to replace "crocodiles". After the "coffee ice cream" incident, Mergirl will taste first before buying. She's not taking any chances with Papa choosing the wrong ice cream.

Say Arrrrr.....!!!

its a boat its a scooter its a.....

papa phone 2 or i am 4 years old

When Papa was panicking about the lost phone, Papa had an inspiration. Ask Mergirl!

Papa: Mergirl, do you remember where you last saw Papa holding the phone??
Mergirl: In the sphagetti shop Papa.

Papa carries you all over Plaza Damas, and asks many times ....until you get a confused look on your face. Things get confusing for both of us.

Finally mergirl mulls over, perks up and looks sheepish . "Papa, I'm , I'm... four years old!"

Ding! Papa asked you for too much. You are 4, how could Papa expect you to remember something that Papa doesn't? Good laugh.

We went to the Selinsing Gold Mine which Papa believes to be the second largest gold mine in Malaysia. Their goal (pun intended, hehe!!) is to produce 1,000,000 ounces of gold. Which is a lot. For Malaysia standards anyway.

papa lost phone

Papa lost his phone today. Most likely when we stopped at 7-11 to buy you a slurpee which you didn't like . "Not yummy".

Papa only found out at 4pm plus, and then Papa tried running up and down with you to look for the phone. No luck and Papa had to buy a new phone and reactivate a new card. Activation was slow, when the shop didn't process the new card for Papa despite being told that they had. A blatant lie by the shop assistant. Papa only found out at 6pm when Papa still coudn't call out. Papa waited by the shop with you to make sure it was done. Papa was super miserable.

Wooboy!!! Mama was fuming by the time Papa's phone was activated. Lots of screaming and cursing . Papa remembers why Papa doesn't ever want Mama in his life. Mama was holding some sort of metal bat to greet Papa at Bangsar Shopping Centre. Not nice.

Anyway Papa before that had gotten you to eat mushrooms in your spaghetti. You decided that mushrooms with ham was a good mix. After six or seven attempts by Papa to get you to eat mushrooms, Papa finally succeeded. So score one point for Papa.

Papa then bought you a pair of Clarks to replace the broken shoes that you were wearing. The sole had come off half of one shoe. Both soles thread-bare to 1 mm. (Literally- the shop assistant called it a crocodile, Papa couldn't disagree). "Mama says I have to wear the shoes for a long long time. I go everywhere Papa with my shoes." Papa found out your feet were 8 1/2 and 9 in size (I think- you opted for the slightly bigger pair, you were quite sure the second pair was a better fit). Two points .

Its been a bad day for Papa, Papa can't really remember much else of it.

Papa also got you a bunch of stuff. Leggings, hair clip, another necklace, another dress. Papa is actually doing the things that Mama should be doing for you. Unfortunately this means Papa has to really run around on one day, all over the place for you. So accidents happen- things were too hectic for Papa, Papa lost his phone.

Oh, Papa almost forgot. Papa got to take some shots of you with the arbie at lunch. Papa's lens is a lemon so there are halos over light points... Papa could only shoot 4 shots before Papa ran out of film, and then Papa realised he didn't bring the dark slide. So Papa couldn't load a new roll. Oh well...

Take a picture of the tent Papa

Pahang general Store

Look closely, Papa

big and close

brick camera

Papa got to trying the RB67 (must stand for Really Big) handheld in K Lipis and on the Selingsing Gold mine . Camera surprisingly doesn't really feel that heavy, even without a neckstrap. This Papa attributes to the side-effects of carrying you on weekends. Papa realises he needs a new monopod, neckstrap, and some rolls of film. Also a light meter would be handy.

And on Papa's wishlist is more lenses. Papa might try out the Arbie this Friday when Papa goes up to Kuantan again, but this means Papa has to run to town to get film tomorrow.

Ant on an ant

On the balcony of the mine site office in the middle of nowhere. (Ok Papa exaggerates, but it was a long journey (casused by repeated stops to ask for directions). Lots of insects flying around in the evening there.

This is not a photoshopped image. The ant was really hanging on to the leg of the (much bigger) ant.

marilyn monroe fish restaurant

Papa had a temorleh/temeliang , and turned down the suggestion for the river prawns (at 3 to RM150.00, its just too rich). Fish was picked clean to the bone.

tale of a fish

Papa was on the way back to KL yesterday morning, when on an impulse decision , we decided to visit someone in a gold mine, a Mr Tan. On we made a detour to Kuala Lipis for lunch from whence we would go further to Sungai Koyan and from there, deeper into the jungle. Anyway that was the idea. But then we took another road to Kuala Lipis, and got ourselves slightly lost before we found a road leading to lunch. GPS was no help.

After lunch , onward to the gold mine. Unfortunately, we didn't know where the mine was and the Mr Tan was not answering. (Blasting operations maybe or something so that he could not pick up the phone). So having gotten rudimentary directions from a somebody of a somebody who knew the restaurant owner in K. Lipis, we drove off.

Papa then discovered that GPS (two units in Papa's hands!!) is really no good if the maps dont show anything . But then bumbling along , we got to the mine at just before 5pm. Having left Kuantan before 11am, this was a , ahem, circuitous drive.

Anyway, Papa wants to talk more about lunch and K. Lipis.

Boy it is a small town. We stopped a local and asked "where is a good place to eat??
Local : "You go next door to Toto, tasty but very expensive".

So we had lunch at 230pm or thereabouts at what Papa calls the Marilyn Monroe restaurant. OK, actually its called Restoran Low Kuan, or Low Kuan's Restaurant. Above it is Appu's Guest House....

MM restaurant.


Facade of restaurant.

Pricey..House brand RM600.00 per fish. Dunno if there is any discount...

Papa in kuantan

Papa is in Kuantan now, in a room with three single beds at the MS Garden Hotel. Papa had a meeting or two oe three (some of these meetings are pretty informal since they are with the officers of our partner) already this afternoon.

Papa misses you and wishes you were here with Papa. There is a slight patter on rain on the balcony with the rumble of thunder in the distance.

what is this papa?

Papa RB67

Oh, Papa gone and bought a old camera. Oh dear. An RB67 with a 90mm lens. Papa went to the McD at Tesco's and came back with it. Wallet lighter, now Papa has to figure out how to use it...

Papa bought it as part of Papa's "pain is good" philosophy. The brick will force Papa to think before taking a photograph. Papa has already loaded up a roll of 100F Provia, and Papa might go hunting in Pahang tomorrow.

As an aside, Papa has got to go outstation tomorrow to meet some government officers, Papa is on a fact-finding mission with the people from PTG and the Eastern Corridor. As a favour for the Chinese partners , Papa wants to find out how one would establish a smelting factory on the East Coast. This really is a favour because it was unsolicited, so Papa hopes that the surprise they get will be a welcome surprise.

Anyway, about the RB. Its lighter than its reputation suggests. As a guesstimate the RB with a 90mm is probably not much heavier than a d300 with say the 50mm equivalent.

Actually its 5.9 lbs. (2690 g.) with 127mm lens and 120 magazine..
But it doesn't really feel that stupidly heavy. (Although http://www.photoethnography.com/ClassicCameras/index-frameset.html?MamiyaRB67.html~mainFrame comments that it feels like 3 tonnes in the hand).

Papa lets you choose

Papa also realised that Papa has subconsciously been needling you to choose your own cloths and stuff. Stepping back, Papa can see you judge the size and fit better than Papa does most of the time. Papa may be a nincompoop at some things, but when Papa applies himself , he does pretty well at stuff such as visualisation. Your power to guesstimate is not only somewhat beyond your age but oftimes, beyond Papa's , so Papa will have to figure out what this means. Papa is mildly surprised at your ability- Papa only hopes Mama sees it and agrees to meet Papa half-way for your sake.

Summer: "My necklace is better than Justin's baby chain" - translation- my chain and charm is of a finer quality and more beautiful than Justin's. I think anyway. You mentioned the hows and whyfors but Papa didn't follow, Papa only got the gist that your necklace is better than Justin's.

Papa will have to get you to articulate your thoughts better. Ergo, Papa will have to build you a better vocabulary. No idea at the moment how Papa will do this, the only way Papa can think of is to spend time with you.

Papa will also have to get you a gameboy (or something similar) since you liked the games on Papa's trial GPS unit. Being also a proud paranoid papa, Papa needs to figure out whether this will help develop some skill-sets for you.

summer and the air show

Surprise!! Mama at the last minute smsed back and agreed to let you out. She had a lame excuse about the phone out of the hands and that it just got back [huh!!]. Anyway Papa got you the next morning at 9 am. Reached the appointed place at 930 then w got into another car and went for breakfast. Uncle K was driving, so he chose where to eat. You had a nice wantan mee with char siew. So did Uncle K, who being a bad boy, ate what he is not supposed to eat.

We only managed to get into the base at almost 11, on account that the TUDM airbase was jam-packed with people, who had the same idea as Papa. Even the lanes inside the based were chocked with traffic. With the help of Uncle K, we got into the Kelab Rekreasi Tentera Udara, and then onto its driving range.

The lone Sukhoi Su-30 did its stuff and flew straight back to Kunatan. Papa saw two of them the previous day, so one of the them must have broken down. So much then for the rough and tough Russian planes. 50% failure rate on 24 hours (Hehe!) Then the Thunderbirds flew . They went low and hard enough to trigger the alarms of the cars in the parking lot nearby. Papa observed one thing, the lone Sukhoi was apparently louder than six F-16s...

Papa then had another curious observation. Actually you didn't want to see the planes in flight, you wanted to be IN the airplanes. You also wanted a aeroplane dinner...You were quite upset and didn't really watch the planes. No matter. Papa's curiousity was piqued.

Later Papa bought you a made in China dress, and to make up for that, Papa bought you to the Thomas Sabo outlet in Bangsar. As young as you are, you spotted so many items that Papa didn't even notice. Papa was in fact too stunned to feel pride . Writing on the next morning, Papa unfortunately cannot recall what they were.

Shame about that, Papa will have to bring you again to the shop to see if it was just a figment of his imagination. Papa also needs to enrol you in some program or other to bring out whatever is in you.

Anyway. Papa and you settled for one chain and a little strawberry, although you did your best to bargain for a strawberry and a star. There was no "S" in the shop ("out of stock") so you kept repeating -
"Summer got no S , why have I got no S...." The upshot was Papa nearly fainted when he found out the price for these trinklets. Its around Tiffany's prices...... No matter, Papa fools himself by saying, "you can share with Mama". Too late Papa is a sucker when it comes to you. So you got your strawberry. Papa might get you a Tiffany's "S" if Papa is in a silly mood. Between Tiffany & Co and Thomas Sabo, Mama would like a bit of "cachet" for the price.

The last and most interesting observation was when Papa decided to atone for his sin in buying silly trinklets (T Sabo calls them -"charms". Huh!) by buying some small toy for you. At RM6 for a articulated toy, it got your entire undivided attention. You kept trying to build things and for the first time you were impatient to have your toy away from Papa. You really, really liked it.
Summergirl : I want to build something!!!.
Wow. Where did Papa hear that before? Thats Papa's mantra in life.- Papa always wants to build something. And now for Papa to hear you say it when Papa has never taught you that philosophy- Papa is floored by that proverbial feather. Papa's blood runs true in you.

papa applies his brains

Papa figures out Mama- maybe Mama doesn't want to live without Papa. Mama behaves so illogically and so much like a zombie. Papa has no doubt Mama loves you, but its just that when Papa comes into the picture, you come out a poor second.

For so long Papa felt that dealing with Mama was a wild excursion into the Twilight Zone....nothing made sense. But Papa made you a promise, and even though Papa has said he cannot give you what you want, Papa has not given up. Papa is trying very hard to see Mama from angles that Papa has not considered. SO anyway, Papa has a little bird on his head, telling him that Mama is very sad and Papa has to rescue her.

In fact, this little bird is saying that Mama had given up on life (in a very real manner) once Papa was no longer a part of her life. Papa does not believe this is a conceit so Papa will explore this line of thought. Papa's thoughts are with you, my little girl.

Papa sorry 2

Papa wants you to know that Papa really wishes Mama will come to her senses . Papa will most likely not be able to see you this weekend, as Mama has for no reason refused to acknowledge Papa's calls and smses.

Papa wants you to know that Papa is not angry at Mama anymore. The more Papa thinks about it, the more Papa feels Mama is using you as a tool to reach out to Papa, because she doesn't know any other way to reach Papa. Mama comes from a seriously dysfunctional family, and she is probably unable to break from the patterns of behavior that one learns from as a child in a family.

Papa sorry

Papa's promise

Papa promised you an answer.

I know you want to have a real family, but Papa doesn't want to have anything to do with Mama anymore. This is very hard for Papa to explain,for so many reasons.

Papa may lie to you in your childhood or maybe Papa will give you false hope so you may grow up with some normalcy. For this reason Papa hopes this will be a record when you are old enough to understand. Papa has to be free from Mama because Papa cannot take the madness that comes from Mama. Mergirl, when Papa was with Mama, the average number of days between fights was 3. The longest was 8, which Papa achieved only by staying out of the house every night. On the eight day, Mama was waiting for Papa in the house with a knive and flourescent tubes.

Mama would always find some reason , or failing which, manufacture any reason for a fight. Maybe because she never loved or respected Papa, Papa doesn't know. Or maybe Mama has never known how to love anyone. Papa doesn't know and Papa doesn't care anymore. Papa's feelings died so many times, and each time Papa tried to get up and start anew with Mama, Mama pushed Papa away. You must understand that Papa swallowed Mama's nonsense until one day when Papa realised there are things in this world that one must walk away from, no matter how much it hurts.

This was maybe the hardest lesson in Papa's life. Papa still remembers, you had just come out of Kids World in Hartamas Shopping Centre, when Mama pushed Papa away for the last time. Papa in that moment realised that Papa could never accept Mama again. Something in Papa broke, and Papa does not want to come near that memory ever. That was the last time Papa tried to hold Mama. You were just a toddler then.

Papa loves you very much but Papa doesn't know how to give you a family with Mama. Papa doesn't know how to say this, but Mama is a very sick person in her head and in her heart. Mama will never let Papa go, Mama just wants to hurt Papa for the rerst of his life. Papa has carried this pain for a long time, and Papa just doesn't know how to handle Mama . Papa doesn't even know how to get Mama to acknowledge Papa's existence.

For the whole of this week Papa has tried to get Mama to say "yes" to your dance lessons. Mama does not pick up the phone, Mama does not answer any sms. Papa didn't do anything at all to provoke Mama. Mama is one crazy woman, thats all.

Papa will go off on a unrelated topic here. Cannot rant so much....Papa has also smsed and tried calling today to let Mama see the Thunderbirds air show on Saturday. They come to Malaysia every ten years. Papa saw the planes flying, from an aerospace company rooftop nearby the Subang TUDM runway. Papa shot some trial shots with a Canon 30d , but only at the very end apa only realised the camera was set at the low resolution setting .... Sheesh.

SO all in Papa saw 2 Sukhoi SU-30s , which are really big and noisy, doing stunts in the air. Papa also saw 6 F-16s in the thunderbird livery, of course Papa also saw their close formation flying.

Never mind, Papa will be there tomorrow inside the RMAF base (actually at the driving range of the KRTU (Kelab Rekreasi Tentera Utara) as it is the highest point around- Papa is smart, once in a while). Papa doesn't know if Mama will let you come with Papa. Probably not. Papa wishes Mama would follow us too, since Papa and you have so much fun and love together. Papa wishes Mama can see that she does not have to be animal, she can be human. Papa would like this very much.

Maybe Mama in a misguided way, does not want a happy childhood for you with Papa. Papa thinks Mama is actually lost as a person without Papa, because she keeps doing destructive things that impact on everyone. Papa has a sneaking suspicion that in Mama's twisted head, she is competing with you for Papa. Everytime Papa tries to do something good for you, Mama will "shut=down" and disappear. And then all of Papa's plans come to nought. Papa is very tired and will stop here now.