sleepless in kuantan

Its 130am in Kuantan. Papa is in Kuatan again, twice in 48 hours. Papa can't sleep coz his paperwork is not finished.....Cant think...tired...So lets post a photo or two.

Papa was at Sg Lembing the other day, this is the view leaving the main mine site in Sg Lembing.












This is the view looking in towards the wagon track leading out of the mine shaft. Its DARK....and CREEPY. Papa has marked a ed arrow to show roughly the location of the exit/entrance to the railway. Which by the way is locked. (whether to keep people out or things in.....well, imagination runs riot in the wee small hours of the morning...)

Papa might go in one day soon just to look around. 300 plus kilometers of tunnels, down to 2100feet deep. Bottom 2000 feet flooded....

The state government tried to keep the water out after the mining company PCCL closed down. Pumped and punped for two years at the cost of 2million Ringgit a year. But the water rose and claimed everything for its own in the mine. Sort of an extreme "dark Water" scenario.

twilight of a town

Papa was outstation yesterday, looking at the remnants of a town, Sungai Lembing.

Once called the El Dorado of the East, this little town is practically in its bardo, where time seems to have stopped. This town was built on tin, mainly by the Pahang Consolidated Company Ltd which operated a concession just a stone throw away, on the hill overlooking it.

Anyway Papa was in a small coffee shop in town , looking for the former tin miners who used to work in the mine shafts. No luck that day, a lot of these miners have moved on, either to a better world , or closer home, to bigger towns, ie Kuantan etc.

Seems there are only three coffee shops and a barber shop around. Papa was on the corner of the main street, hardly anyone about.



Contrary to popular belief, the town is not named after the malay spear "lembing". It is a bastardised version of the name Lim. As in "I'm going to see" "Lim Beng"....

















gunfighter off market street

summer opera soprano

Papa just realised . Summer is an opera singer.

OK that was a bit devious and misleading. There is a British soprano named Summer Watson. So, she shares your name. Doesn't look like you at all . (On the other hand if she looks like a 4 year old, that would stretch reality).
Currently I believe she has only one album out. Papa likes her voice although she cannot reach for the high notes and even though she is not dramatic enough for Papa's tastes. (then again, no one can be as dramatic as your Mama....)

Papa will play Nella Fantasia for you , as sung by Summer W when Papa sees you. I hope you like it.

habanera

Cont...

Papa was in a little nite club in Kuantan (or perhaps in Kuantan ,that was THE biggest nite club. Papa has no idea). Two acts, one with a singer who didn't dance, and another with a dancer who couldn't sing. To Papa's surprise, the opening was Habanera from Carmen . Sung in Mandarin...

The singer was powerful, she was loud enough to tickle Papa's ear-drums. Its a bit strange to hear Bizet's Carmen in chinese. Of course, the only words left in French was "L'amour! L'amour! L'amour! L'amour!"

Papa only remembers hearing it a long time ago when he was a kid. Opera in chinese is a rarity nowadays I guess. Papa is going to introduce you to sopranos and tenors once he can sit down with you. There is some pretty powerful music hidden in classical and Papa is sure you will like it. The alternative for you is to listen to Papa's country and western.

L'amour est un oiseau rebelle

que nul ne peut apprivoiser,

et c'est bien en vain qu'on l'appelle,

s'il lui convient de refuser

closing
L'amour est enfant de Bohème,
il n'a jamais, jamais connu de loi;
si tu ne m'aimes pas, je t'aime:
si je t'aime, prends garde à toi! (x2)

in english

Love is a rebellious bird

that nobody can tame,

and you call him quite in vain

if it suits him not to come

Love is a gypsy child,

it has never ever, known the law,

if you love me not, I love you,

if I love you, you should beware!

nobody's child

Not a good song for a little girl.

Papa woke up this morning feeling really stupid. Papa has blocked out so many things that arise from Mama's behavior, so Papa didn't understand Mama's malice at all. But then again perhaps it was subtle and meditated (and pretty left-field) so Papa couldn't get it.

Papa remembers you singing in a woeful manner the song "Nobody's child". I couldn't see at all why you chose that silly song, Papa only thought you liked it since its easy to sing. Mama couldn't have taught you that song, what mother in the world would teach those lyrics to her own child?

The words are very hard and painful for a 3 year old to hear and learn. You kept singing the lines:

I'm nobody's child, I'm nobody's child
I'm like a flower just growing wild
No mommy's kisses and no daddy's smile
Nobody wants me I'm nobody's child

All the things that Mama does, I know now that just as she taught you this song that she would have told you that you were unwanted. Thats why you when you told me that Mama doesn't kiss you, that was really the truth. Papa couldn't see that Mama would be a monster to you also and Papa blocked what you said out from his thoughts, but it wasn't because Papa didn't want to listen to you. Papa just couldn't see...

Lyrics to that stupid song

I was slowly passing an orphan's home one day
And stopped there for a moment just to watch the children play
Alone a boy was standing and when I asked him why
He turned with eyes that could not see and he began to cry

I'm nobody's child, I'm nobody's child
I'm like a flower just growing wild
No mommy's kisses and no daddy's smile
Nobody wants me I'm nobody's child

People come for children and take them for their own
But they all seem to pass me by and I am left alone
I know they'd like to take me but when they see I'm blind
They always take some other child and I am left behind

No mother's arms to hold me or soothe me when I cry
Sometimes it gets so lonely here I wish that I could die
I'd walk the streets of heaven where all the blind can see
And just like all the other kids there'd be a home for me

[spoken]
I just can't seem to figure out
Why the folks all pass me by
Cause I know that it's true that god takes
Little blind children with him in the sky
And they tell me that I'm oh so pretty
And they seem to like my big curls of gold
But then they take some other little child
And I'm left here all alone

I'm nobody's child, I'm nobody's child
I'm like a flower just growing wild
No mommy's kisses and no daddy's smile
Nobody wants me I'm nobody's child

But Papa's eyes are open now and Papa sees. Papa has to find the best way to protect you. And maybe Mama from her own madness, if possible. Papa has to do both and Papa has to find the way.

You are not nobody's child, you are Papa's one and only.

Papa loves you.

papa stories

Some stories for you. These are a little more adult, so when you are slightly older you will follow more easily.

Papa was outstation last week, trying to understand a little piece of the puzzle of Malaysian conservation law in theory and forestry practices in reality. Papa is trying (along other things) to block illegal logging and mining and to revive or defend the existing forests in a fragile ecosystem in Pahang. If Papa is successful, maybe you will be able to see a forest system which will be in better shape than in Papa's time. Papa will tell you more next time, when he finds the words to convey what Papa wants to do and achieve.

Anyway somehow or other, Papa ended up in a Chinese nite-club in Kuantan. (NOT Papa's choice. Somehow or other also, for some strange reason, Papa always gets dragged to these places).
(to be continued)

summer in the park

While waiting for Mama, Papa took you to the nearby park. It was good to see you with a big big smile on your face. I wish Mama could see you with Papa's eyes.

















You snuck under the table, so Papa got a photo of you there showing your new panties.....oops..




The look of sheer happiness on your face, Papa wishes Mama had taken just a little time with you to learn and grow together.















Papa loves you.

summer diary

This will be factual...(at least as much as I can be)

Papa got to see you last Saturday. Mama changed her mind at the last minute , and agreed to 10am pickup. Surprise!! Anyway, Let see what we did. Papa got to bring you to watch Ice Age: Dawn of the dinosaurs. It was a little troubling to see that you were so excited to see Papa, you told papa you didn't need to use the bathroom.....

So.... a big puddle in the toyshop!!! Pee and pee and pee....!! A frantic search for new panties ensued, in the kiddie portion of the department store. Papa had to buy and sneak you out real quick just in case anyone asked about the big pool of water in the toyshop...

You enjoyed the movie but things got downhill from there. Papa took you to another toyshop.
I asked you then whether you wanted to learn how to build a necklace with a kit. You kept saying no, and I asked you to have Mama teach you. The saddest look came across your face, and you said in a small voice that Mama won't teach. You asked me to teach you and offered to follow me home to learn.

SO....Papa got a little pain in the heart and started asking you questions.

"Does Mama play with you?" (this had been asked before) "No....."
"Does Mama bring you around?" "No.."
"Does Mama stay with you?" (test question) "no...Mama is never in the house..." [small voice, looks down on the ground]
"Is Mama [in the house] at night?" "no.."
"Are you alone?" "yes"
"Where does Mama go at night, mergirl?" "Mama go shopping...."
"Every night?" "yes"
"Does Mama dress up?" "yes, she look beautiful...like when the wind in blowing in the hair..."

Mama didn't answer calls to pick you at 5pm that day. Normally she would be shouting and screaming if Papa is even slightly late. Papa called until around 6pm when Mama called. Mama said she needed another 1/2 hour to pick you. Very evasive, subdued and wouldn't answer Papa.

So at 630 Mama came. Looked like she had a bath, sarong decked around the upper body. (to hide hickeys I guess.)

Papa was very angry. Flat out accused Mama of fucking until she forgot you entirely. Mama refused to say no, eyes down, said she had "something to do" but refused to elaborate.

Papa has to take you away from Mama, because you have lost one year of growing up in staying with Mama. You are 4 1/2 now but you behave in so many ways like a 3 1/2 year old toddler. Papa was not good enough to see this until very very recently. Yes you stay with Mama, but she doesn't pay any attention to you and you have not grown any.

Papa has told Mama (by numerous sms, which she has not answered any) that Papa will take custody and raise you. Papa does not want you to grow home alone in a cubicle. Papa will try and give you all the love he can , ok?

comparo

some comparisons the truth is out there, sometimes far far away.

Gandhi = Warlike
Gengis Khan = Hippy
Mother Theresa = Muslim
David Carradine = Alive
Jenna Jameson = Virgin
France = Never Surrender
Siberia = Tropical
Hippies = Cannibalistic
Politicians = Honest
Obama = White (wait, he kinda is)

this by some autophile guy.....cones gone into his head, xmax too high.